White Fragility
Robin DiAngleo coined the term "white fragility" and wrote a New York Times #1 Bestseller with the same name. White fragility is when white people are unable to endure racial stress. In a podcast featuring the previously mentioned author, as well as Dr. Elizabeth Denevi, Co-founder of Teaching While White, listeners learned that white is seen as normal and white people do not often have to go outside of their racial comfort zones. The following information is from the podcast.
White people feel entitled to be comfortable and sometimes are oblivious to race, seeing being white as not having meaning. In reality, racism is the foundation of our everyday life and history, and POC take home microaggressions daily, not speaking up because they do not want to struggle with another failed intervention. Most white people think they are not the problem, and that is exactly where white fragility comes in. It is not always conscious, but actions are judged on impact and intention, so obliviousness will not be accepted. There is a deep history of harm, and we (white people) all have racism in us.
White people:
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Your silence promotes your own agenda without considering others.
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The nature of an assumption is you don't know you're making it.
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People refuse to identify as racist because of what we define it as. We have been raised in a system of racism. Start recognizing and accepting the fact that you are racist. Stop thinking you're the choir; there is NO CHOIR.
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Being open-minded is not the same as being anti-racist. Being nice is not the same as being anti-racist.
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Ongoing relationships and actual action are important, not solely self-education.
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White progressives are not immune to being part of the problem.
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Silence is not wanting to give up any of your privilege.
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Put your oxygen mask on first and then help someone else (Educate yourself first and then educate others).
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Your own self-awareness is your greatest tool. If you think you're not the problem, how do you know?
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If you get called out for being racist, talk to another white person and work to understand how racism was present in that interaction. Then, reach out and apologize.
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If you have been silent in the face of racism, start conversations about it now.
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Women:
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We should be using sexism as a bond and a way into a connection with other women, not a way out.
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We occupy multiple, intersecting identities. You may identify as a woman before your race or vice versa. Both are okay.
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Imagine a man saying to you what you are about to say to a POC. Is it offensive? Then, don't say it.
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Academia:
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You will get ahead by being silent. Don't be silent.
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Dr. Elizabeth Denevi also led a two-hour Eventbrite webinar on July 13th, involving the intersectionality between white fragility and dyslexia, in partnership with Decoding Dyslexia Oregon. There were about 100 participants on the Zoom call that evening, with a majority of 35-60 year old white women. Along with Denevi's speaking, there were breakout rooms, where I was paired with five older women from across the country where we discussed generational differences in the journey towards anti-racism. Denevi's husband, Randolph Carter, also he spoke on the unreconciled racial history in America, and his perspective as a Black man. Here are some takeaways from the rich conversations in Dr. Denevi's webinar.
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Food for Thought:
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Understanding race is not the end of the conversation, it is the beginning.
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There is not enough representation of Black people in children's books.
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There are different perspectives between generations.
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The book White Fragility is beneficial for both POC and white people.
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Some older people did not meet any POC until their adult life and have not talked about race until recently. That should be considered when educating oneself, but is not a pass to be racist.
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Questions:
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Why do we only name race when POC are involved? (ie. English teachers only considering an author's race and how it impacted the book when the author is not white)
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Actions:
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Start talking about your whiteness. It levels the playing field.
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Know that race is always in the room, not just when POC are there.
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Start with your own racial identity.
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As a white person, be able to endure racial stress. Don't run from it.
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The goal is to be less fragile.
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Starting a conversation about race/systemic racism is easier than ever before because of current events.
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Work to understand why the fight for racial justice is necessary.
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Read the Black Lives Matter statement, rather than blindly following.
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Bring other white people into the conversation.
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Work to understand your implicit bias.
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Know that people are calling you out because they care about you.
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Get another perspective by looking at a different news source or another side of social media.
